Tongue in Cheek

 The other day I was listening to the song "Tripping, stumbling" by Fergie and I couldn't help but laugh. The song is about falling in love, but for an ALS patient like me it has a different meaning altogether. I tripped and fell several times when I could still walk. Anyway it got me thinking about all the phrases, proverbs and idioms that have a completely different meaning for those impacted by ALS. Here are some that I could think of.

To fall on deaf ears - When you sincerely describe your symptoms to your neurologist

To get cold feet - When your feet are cold and swollen from lack of movement 

To take it with a pinch of salt  - When you drink electrolyte water to relieve muscle fatigue 

To bite off more than you can chew - When you literally bite more than you can chew 

To have two left feet - When you request your caregiver to scratch your left foot but they scratch the right one instead 

To swallow your pride - But first chop pride into small pieces or mash it

nail biting - When you lose the ability to use a nail cutter 

heart wrenching - When you feel gassy

mind numbing - When you learn that another drug trial has failed 

To have bad blood - When the nurse can't find a vein

Honesty is the best policy - It is actually second best after a good health insurance policy 

The truth about ALS is that we could all use a little laugh every now and then. Can you think of more phrases like these? Signing off with the Charlie Puth song - We don't WALK anymore like we used to do.

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