Downsizing

 Diwali is over. I enjoyed shopping online. Not only did I update some home decor but also shopped for my family. I like beautifying everything lol. Well I also shopped for myself. While Myntra was suggesting me which size to buy based on my last purchase several months ago, I knew better. I stopped looking at the mirror a long time ago, still I knew how thin I've become.

So I chose a smaller size and ordered two t-shirts. The first one arrived and I realized that even that was too big. I canceled the second one, and then I ordered an even smaller size. This one was perfect. At least for now. 

I must the first young woman who is not happy about becoming thin, lol. Losing weight is different from losing muscles. In fact that is what the A in ALS stands for. Amyotrophic. When a muscle does not receive any signal from the brain for long enough, it dies. Based on what I have read this is irreversible. No matter how much protein you consume. This muscle loss gives an unnatural look to a patient. I now look like a bobble head figurine that people put on the dashboard of their car, where the head seems disproportionately bigger as compared to the body.

I honestly don't know what any medicine will do to help me at this stage if and when available. In IT, we call such cases as Problem Incidents. We know that there is a bug, we don't know how to solve it yet. At best we can offer a work around for the time being.

As I reflect upon the year gone by, I am happy about getting my hands, no, eyes on tobii because it gave me my voice back. But I can't help but notice how the disease is progressing at its pace. The truth about ALS is, there is a lot of research going on, but we haven't found the cure yet. At least not in 2024.

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